June 21, 2018
I did not meet my goal for yesterday. It was to write 500 words and I did not get to it. I got lost in re-reading all my diary entries and lost track of the time. Also it was hard to break out of my inertia, even though I really want to write. My brain was not thinking in writing mode yesterday. The guilt kept me up though. I do not want to fail Zubin again. There is already a lot of guilt associated with not being able to save him and give him a better chance at life. His cancer was aggressive and we did not have a way to fight it. But I still feel that I let him down. I understand that medical treatment is not in my hands, but I did bring him into this world. And I feel responsible for everything that he endured.
So today I came in ready to write. So far I have written 2600 words. I am beginning to understand that I will have to do many revisions. But I think that every time I look at it, the story that I want to tell will get more focused.
It is so hot and humid in Xiamen these days. Yesterday evening it rained hard with lighting and thunder. I went for a mid-day walk today and came back with beads of sweat trickling down my forehead and my shirt stuck to me. In a way, it is good because it keeps me indoors and focused on my objective.
Yesterday I spoke with a girl who had graduated from college last year. She works really long hours, averaging 13 hour work days. And she is not the only one. People that I have come across in China work extremely hard. 12 to 18 hour work days are normal. At my friend’s manufacturing company, everyone has a foldout cot and, except for those working on the assembly lines, takes a nap after lunch. Lunch hour (including eating and napping) is one and a half hour. I love this idea of mid-day naps. We all know the recharge benefits of little catnaps. Can’t see a way without them if one has to work such long hours. But it also seems most people are pumped to be working hard. Explains how China has become a manufacturing juggernaut. There is no other way to success except hard work. I should think about that as I work on my goal.
Thinking of Zubin 